Netflix’s Spiderhead: even Chris Hemsworth can’t save us from the mediocrity

Netflix Originals are a dime a dozen these days. The streaming company has been pushing their original content hard for years now, plastering titles to the front page while flashy, Michael Bay-esque trailers accompany them on social media. To be fair, some of them are pretty good; shows and movies like Squid Game and Army of the Dead have garnered positive acclaim from the public and critics alike. Others, though (I’m looking at you, Marco Polo) can’t seem to crack the public consciousness. So, where does 2022’s Spiderhead fall on the spectrum? It’s a little complicated.

The ideas behind Spiderhead are definitely interesting; a secret testing facility where prisoners take drugs in exchange for a more leisurely sentence is rife with potential. Tacking on the star power of Chris Hemsworth and injecting a dark, vaguely sci-fi twist should make for a homerun, right? Unfortunately, Spiderhead is still a swing and a miss.

While the concept is fun, the film largely wastes its ideas. Though it is punctuated with moments of intensity, the script of Spiderhead feels like an unedited second draft. The movie never really does much with chemicals these prisoners are taking. While there are several intense moments brought on by these chemicals, it still feels as if more could have and should have been fleshed out.

In addition, an entire cast of colorful side characters with seemingly interesting personas is relegated to a fate of populating the background or being used for the occasional sight gag. Instead, we are saddled with our boring main characters Jeff and Lizzy, played by Miles Teller and Jurnee Smollett-Bell, respectively. Neither of them are believable as criminals who would be in a facility such as this. Their crimes play more as tragic accidents and missteps rather than vicious acts of criminality. Rather, their own guilt over their mistakes is what brought them to the facility which houses them. While this seems to have been a way to make them more relatable as characters, it instead gives the entire film an unrealistic tone that makes it hard to take Spiderhead seriously.

The pacing is a mess, with the majority of the film moving much too quickly. Character-defining issues that should lead to personal growth and development for these people are instead treated as momentary flashes in the pan, used up for a few seconds of drama before being done away with, never to be mentioned again. The result is a cast of shallow characters that are supposed to be sympathetic, but instead come across as two-dimensional and boring.

On a positive note, though, Chris Hemsworth’s performance as Steve Abnesti, the showrunner of the projects at Spiderhead, is wonderfully chaotic. Charismatic and terrifying all in one, the manic positivity and narcissism Hemsworth exudes onscreen is by far the best part of the entire film.

Spiderhead is most definitely a modern B-movie with a decent budget. Though it has a fun, if recycled, twist ending, it feels half-baked at times. Frankly, the moments where I wish it would have taken its concepts further are innumerable. However, if you’re looking for a light watch with a few punctuated, well-done moments, Spiderhead is worth your time.

3/5